Evaluation Day     October 20, 2000
The purpose of this evaluation is to get an objective measurement of the rate of improvement in various areas of your life. Taking this will allow you to target those areas where you might want to focus some attention, and those areas to give yourself positive acknowledgement for a job well done.

Instructions: each of the 12 statements to follow is phrased in the form of an affirmative.  Please reply to each with a number between 5 and 1. (5= strongly agree, 4= somewhat agree, 3= neither agree nor disagree, 2= somewhat disagree, 1= strongly disagree).


over the past 3 months...

My family relationships have improved. This means that I am more accepting & appreciative; and our time together is mutually more fulfilling. _______ (your response)

My friendships have improved. This means I have either increased my number of real friends or experienced a higher degree of trust and support with existing friends. _______

My primary romantic relationship has improved. If I am currently in a relationship, this means it is more intimate, and more emotionally fulfilling. If I am not currently involved, it means I have identified more specific qualities of my "ideal mate," and have taken steps to meet him/her. _______

My financial life has improved. This means my net worth has increased and/or I have taken practical steps to secure my financial freedom._______

My spiritual life has improved. This means I feel more connected to That which I consider the source of life and all good,  and/or have contributed to the well-being of others in measurable ways. _______

My mental outlook has improved. This means I have made qualitative changes in the way I perceive my life, increased my creativity and/or ability for problem-solving. This could also mean a shift from a "glass half empty" to a "glass half full" mentality. _______

My emotional well-being has improved. This means I feel happier or more deeply peaceful more often, and/or experience having more control over my emotional states. I feel less stress. _______

My physical health and vitality has improved. This means I feel more energy, personal power, and feel more attractive to myself. _______

My knowledge base has expanded. This means I have accelerated the rate at which I learn from my experiences and/or have mastered new skills which improve the quality of my life. _______

My business or career has improved. This means I have been adding more value to my clients or co-workers, and/or have experienced a greater return in resources and satisfaction. _______

My physical environment has improved. This means my home, workspace and vehicle have become more conducive to good feelings, more aesthetically appealing or more functional._______

My self-respect has improved. This means I am more aware of my uniqueness and my intentions, and act with impeccable integrity more often. _______

Thank you for taking this one. Please print and retake in 3 months.

Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Life Coach. All rights reserved. May be duplicated freely for not-for-profit use with contact information intact. Visit on the web at  www.cornerstonecoaching.com, or email em@cornerstonecoaching.com.

osquare.gif (889 bytes)GLOBAL QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
What objective measurement do you use to decide who to vote for in a political election?

November 3, 2000   Your Life's Purpose

Where is the purpose of your life hiding that it needs to be found?

I remember growing up in the 70's hearing one adult after another discussing direction and purpose; almost always in terms of a some kind of quest. I thought that these things were elusive, difficult to get to, impossible to define, mysterious.

Holding that belief helped myself-- and at least an entire generation-- to ask more interesting questions about human development. We may have been humanists, but we certainly used the scientific method for our mission's discovery. Query, check, query, query, check, query...

Mentally we soared, spiritually we flowered... and some of us actually came to "get" what life's purpose is all about.  We felt what it was like to be on target, we noticed how lousy it felt to be off it. We reveled in the discoveries...and this was good.

But what is good in times of leisurely query is not always good in times of crisis. Occasionally someone needs to flat-out KNOW their purpose and take action accordingly. Someone needs to heal the sick, tend to the elderly, build buildings and stop fires. Someone needs to know what their life is about and take steps to manifest it. Someone needs to become the leader.

"Great," you may say, "for those people who know what their life is about." And great too, for those of you who admire those who know-- because you are one step closer to knowing your own life's purpose.

If you are good at "the quest,"  then you might want to query yourself about those admired individuals who DO know their purpose: 1) what specifically is it they are doing that is so appealing?  2) what kind of qualities has this person developed?   3) if this person's mission/purpose were tweaked for the better, what would it be then?

Regarding question number 3: would THAT be a worthy enough purpose for you to go with? Or do we still need a thunderbolt to seal your fate?

If you need something other than an internet article to promote your mission, then here is the question you need to answer honestly for yourself: what has to happen in order for you to KNOW what your purpose is?

Determining your life's purpose is your finest creative act. And it IS important. So, ask what you need, and make your mission matter.

 

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

November 11, 2000   Procrastination Meets Meaningful Down Time

 

Have you ever noticed that there are some times in life when you love to take action and can't wait to jump into things, while other times you have dragged, delayed and procrastinated the simplest items on your to do list?

Would you like to know how to accentuate the former and how to supercharge the latter? If you answered yes, then be prepared for your assessment of these natural cycles of life to be completely turned around.

See, in order for you to maximize your productivity ALL the time, you must recognize something that is not often understood in modern cultures: that the source of your productivity is taking place on your quieter days. That is, what you are receiving mentally, emotionally and spiritually those days when you don't so much want to "do anything" is the key to your energy and motivation all the other, more obviously productive days.

I'll say it again even more simply. What you allow yourself to receive during your "unproductive" time determines the level at which you will operate when you do take action.

So how does one apply this to real life? After all, most of us need to get things done on a regular basis. Quite right. And here is the specific application. On those seeming "low motivation" days ask yourself these three questions, and allow yourself to peruse over the answers:

1. How is what I've been doing related to the big picture of my life?
2. What is it that I need to know about myself in order to stay in harmony with my personal "big picture"?
3. After I've recharged my personal energy, what 3 items must I target to stay on track most effectively?

Finally, you must be willing to allow yourself the luxury of down time, even if you have a mountain of projects to complete. The reason you must do this, is because your body, emotions, spirit and soul have mandated a reassessment, even if your brain screams out in anxiety. This does not mean not to do anything, but it does means not to do anything that is not absolutely necessary.

And if you can in fact, completely relax into your natural cycle of down time, then you have an amazing opportunity to take your goal and insights to the next level. Just by daydreaming what it is that would really juice you this day, and who you need to become to live that way...

 

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

GLOBAL QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
What does the US need to re-evaluate during its current phase of "down time"? (election recount)

 

November 19, 2000     Train of Emotion

Imagine this: you have a goal, the perfect strategy, resources, and helpful people around you to attain it--you even have luck!  But what you DON'T have is a good feeling about achieving it.  Are you likely to achieve your goal? Or will you, more likely, sabotage it?

Or imagine this: you have a goal, no strategy, no resources, no one around that can really help you right now-- and you look at your life and realize that you haven't ever been lucky. But you DO have absolute determination, and faith, and you feel really good about achieving your goal. Are you likely to achieve it?  We know that people with nothing but faith achieve great things everyday. The answer is most definitely yes.

Emotion is not only absolutely crucial in obtaining our results, emotion is THE primary factor in whether or not we get what we want, and how fast we get it.

Think of your emotions like trains. You are at the station of Now, and you want to get some goal: There. You can choose any number of emotions to ride to your destination, from Self-doubt to complete Certainty, from Disappointment to Gratitude. No matter what train you board, you will go somewhere. And you must choose which train you'll board at every single station between Now and There.

The only question is: Where do you want to get to?  And what is going to make your trip and arrival a pleasurable one for you?

My challenge to each of you is to choose the emotional train that will speed you comfortably to your desired destination. Choose based on what YOU REALLY WANT, even if what you really want is to wonder if you are on the right train (though I can't say your arrival There will be well received if you do).

Choose your emotional transportation, even if you don't think that you can (and check to make sure you are not riding Doubt or Skepticism, with conductors that try to lock you into sleeper cars).  Perseverance makes for an exciting ride with assured arrival. Trust, Faith, and Certainty all make for a quick and comfortable trip.  Awareness gives you the best view, and Gratitude assures your most welcome arrival.

Ride on!

 

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

osquare.gif (889 bytes)GLOBAL QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
What emotions do leaders attempt to stir in their followers to a) control them  b) rouse them to revolt c) tax them or  d) empower individuals?

 

December 4, 2000 Media Lead

I'm reminded of a quote from a cartoonist "most people believe the world is a confusing place that ultimately leads them to a buying opportunity." I laughed so hard when I read this, I laughed 'til I cried.

I cried because it was not so long ago that I lived my life with that kind of confusion, when I believed that "something else" was going to make it all better. Perhaps a new car, or a relationship, a hairdo or a kitchen gizmo. In those days I would see celebrities strut their stuff, and believe that they were the only ones with stuff to strut. I used to believe, as I ladled the Ben & Jerry's into my mouth, that someday my way would come find me. That I would have a revelation, an understanding. I was certain that this would only come after I had attained all of the new goodies I desired. So I set about getting them, as many a good citizen had done before me.

Not to say that this is not a valid path to choose to live one's life. It's just that it is so overtread. Even amidst the hundreds of thousand of advertiser's products, even with the thousands of ways TV and magazines tell us we can be "different"; the bottom line is, we are not different. We are a part of a greater society, and we will remain subservient to all it's ideals as long as we are looking outside ourselves for some kind of lead. Psychologically, the media has seized the lead for many, many individuals, and promoted the 'ideal' of purchasing happiness.

The question is, do you want to follow?

I am writing this because I, like you, have recognized that a different way is called for. Your way is called for. What this means is that something you've desired, but did not feel "fit" within the confines of the familiar, is something you need to focus on. Whether you want to live your life as a saint, or dig ditches; whether you want to speak freely your heart, or stop speaking altogether-- if the desire comes from within you (not some advertisement), then it is one to follow. The world needs people like you to act on new ideals, ideals that can inspire. Ideals that elevate the masses that live passively. The world needs you to take the lead...

How can we know if an inner lead is a true one?

Simple, ask yourself "if I were to follow through on that prompting, who would I become in the process?"

If the answer is a simple one like "Me," then you know you've got it.

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

 

BE IN LOVE    (updates and new ideas December 4, 2000)

Every time I go to write another Idea of the Week, I intend to write something that will be of value to you. I just realized, however, that not everything of value is necessarily of interest!

So, in keeping with the theme of 'advertising' that runs throughout this week's idea, I thought I'd throw in a little "teaser" to get you to read through.

Because, there are few things more compelling to a human being than being in love. Am I right?!

So with that in mind (and yes, in your body too), what does it take to experience this most sumptuous of human emotions? Does it  take another person doing a particular behavior.. or not?  Does it require a person at all?

If you are answering this question with certainty, then I want you to look again at the past few moments.  As you recalled what it felt like to be in love, weren't you nearly as good as there?

Isn't the personal circumstance of that feeling more a method of celebrating love than an instigator of it?

Think about it. And make sure while you do so,  that you remember exactly how it feels to be in love.. how the world looks, what you say  to yourself when you are IN LOVE and who you want to talk to...

Thanks for dropping by1

Love,
signature2.gif (1710 bytes)email webmaster

 

December 13, 2000   Focus 

Ever notice how some people can relentlessly pursue their goals, while others languish in minutiae?

Ever notice that the first group invariably achieves what they set after, while the later group often falls victim to "might have been's"?

We all think that there is something special about those people who pursue singular goals against all odds...and there is: their ability to focus. People who see their goals plainly and regularly tend to achieve them, and enjoy the process just as much.

But what we may not have known is that focus is not a trait, it's an art. And like all arts, it can be appreciated, used, or redefined by anyone.

To follow are a few of the finer points of focus. Those things that will sharpen your ability to see your life with eyes of clarity, and to create a masterpiece that laser-like vision can give you.

1) focus relies heavily on all your senses. That is, your willingness to envision, hear, feel, taste and smell the future you're after.

2)  focus remains steady on what pleases you.  Like a gorgeous woman or a strapping man, you can easily hold focus on those things that appeal to you. Conversely, you cannot easily stay focused on "should" goals, or visions born of someone else (unless the also tap your particular desires as well).

3) focus requires action. Your focus will intensify as you take even minor action because it gives you more data to feed your senses (see #1). As you move in the direction of your vision, you see more details of your goal, and have more to look upon tomorrow.

4) Focus matters. Because without it, your life becomes a mishmash of distractibility's, other people's agendas, and muddy colors. If you think you're confused, it's because you've been looking at life without your masterpiece glasses on for far too long...

 

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

 

January 1, 2001     A Revolution in Resolutions

Have you noticed the overwhelming abundance of simplicity books, videos, lifestyle choices that are out there right now?  Do you wish that your life could somehow-- this year-- be simpler, more meaningful, more serene?  How do your resolutions reflect this? How could they bring you naturally into a simpler mode of enjoying life?

I want to pose to you an idea that is very un-coach-like. It is to toss out each and every one of your resolutions right now. Oh, actually, let's reel them back in for just one moment of examination before wishing them for someone else who would like a 96% chance of failing this year.

When you look at those things/accomplishments/challenges that you viewed as important for 2001, what is the emotional theme behind them? If, for example, you resolved to quit smoking, start a home-based business and climb Mount Everest; what emotional results did you expect to be your reward for achieving these things? Maybe feeling healthy, or innovative, or courageous. Perhaps satisfied, loved or important....

Examine your resolutions now, and determine which emotional results are your true desire. Write them down, and take a close look at the handful of emotional qualities that you crave. THESE EMOTIONAL STATES are your simplified, streamlined, 2001 resolution revolution. These feelings are what you really want, and I want you to know, that you can attain them right now without grand gestures or high mountains.

Take our hypothetical friend above. What if "feeling healthy" is what he really wants, and he thinks "quitting smoking" will get him there. What if he were instead to ask himself what can make him feel healthy right now? Maybe a deep breath, or eating a salad, a walk in the park, or a roll in the grass. Might he be more likely to let smoking "fall away" if he began to breathe, walk in parks, and eat salad?*   At least he'd be feeling good--which is what he wanted anyway....

Don't be another hypothetical statistic. Set your sites on what you will immediately succeed in. Your emotional goals can be yours, with revolutionary simplicity....

I'm rooting for you!

* The reason most resolutions like "quit smoking to feel healthy" fail, is because the immediate result of quitting is withdrawal symptoms (i.e. NOT feeling healthy). A scrambled signal goes to the brain, inner conflict is ignited and the person forgets why it was so important to them...

 

 

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

 

 

 

Become a Beauty-Maker   January 8, 2001

Have you ever wondered why it is that you can describe something exactly the same way to two different people, and walk away from one feeling worse about yourself, and the other feeling nearly transcendent?

Well, this is because some of us have developed the quality of Beauty-Making more than others. That is the ability to take life's garbage and rework it into a masterpiece.

Everyone has this capability, and each of us DOES use it sometimes. We have to, otherwise we'd just get paralyzed by every unpleasant circumstance. In order to function as human beings, we must use our facility to rework meanings of things, to cast new light on mishaps or misapprehensions for ourselves and others. In order to function extraordinarily as human beings, we need to get very good at this.

For my friend Jazz, this means chocking up her decision yesterday to stay home and read romance novels as a "win." Yes, she spent the whole day inside, taking a brain-breath when she "should have" been out on errands, paying bills and so forth. Feeling a little guilty in retrospect, she told some people who shook their proverbial fingers at her: "Yes, you SHOULD have done those things." Fortunately, then she called me.

Knowing Jazz, I could tell that choosing a pure luxury activity was a difficult choice for her. Also, considering her challenging schedule, this was probably an absolute necessity. I commended her on having the self-knowledge and strength to make the unpopular (yet, ultimately more rewarding) decision.

Hear the difference? She left one conversation feeling tired and guilty, whereas she left the call with me feeling a renewed sense of vigor. Just what she really needs to flourish in her busy life.

I'm not here to convince you that making people right (actually, aim for making people RADIANT!) is better somehow than compounding their "wrongs." What I am here to point out is that if you decide to make this a priority in your life, you will experience the following benefits:

1) you will become far more creative, because you will be exercising your meaning-making muscle more often. (Let's face it, making people wrong is boorringg, and its been done to death.)

2) more people will want to be around you more often: couldn't this benefit your business, family life, relationships and more? Oh yes, and they'll be a bunch of happier people too (if you get good at it, that is!)

3) you will like YOU a whole lot more. Because you will be adding to the beauty, the radiance, the innocence, the light in this world, not shining a measly little flashlight on some pile of garbage.

So, take out your artist's hat, sound that creative chord, stand for the rightness and radiance that you can make in life, and thank goodness for the benefits!

Because I feel so strongly about the power of this fundamental skill--- and I believe in rewarding excellence-- I have a challenge for you. Read the following situation, and formulate a 10 word or less response that will add beauty to Sally's life: Sally just experienced a freak accident at her favorite health club. Something broke and fell on her, causing a minor injury. No one offered her help, so she got herself to the doctor, and received good care there. Sally has been feeling upset, and has come to you for your wisdom....

(please email your 10-word response. The most illuminating will win two months of free coaching. Good luck!)

 

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

 

Top Ten Reasons to Write Down Your Life Vision Today 
January 15, 2001

You've probably heard over and over why defining your vision is a good thing to do. Well, its not just a good thing to do, it's a crucial thing to do, and here's why...

1. It's the only way to know when you get there.

2. Once you write it, you've taken your vision from zero dimensions to two dimensions instantly... and two is much closer to three than zero.

3. No one else will do it while you are alive enough to enjoy it.
Okay, you could be one of those rare individuals that people write on and on about, in one unflattering, inaccurate unauthorized biography after another...

4. Have you got something better to do?

5. If you do have something better to do, write it down:  that's your vision!

6. If you don't define your vision, someone else will try to make you a bit player in theirs....and you won't get an Emmy for it either. Hey, what are you doing watching so much TV?!

7. If life is a journey, wouldn't you at least like to have your eyes looking forward (instead of looking up yours behind)?

8. You can't get There from Here without knowing where is There

9. You can't "get" Here without knowing Here is There too.

10. If you don't see a vision, then for goodness sake, record your Life's Sound, or Dance down your Life's Dance. Anything that wakes you up from the "I don't know" trance!

oh goodness....

Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com   www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.

 

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