November 3, 2000 Your
Life's Purpose Where is the purpose of your life hiding that it needs to be
found?
I remember growing up in the 70's hearing one adult after another discussing direction
and purpose; almost always in terms of a some kind of quest. I thought that these things
were elusive, difficult to get to, impossible to define, mysterious.
Holding that belief helped myself-- and at least an entire generation-- to ask more
interesting questions about human development. We may have been humanists, but we
certainly used the scientific method for our mission's discovery. Query, check, query,
query, check, query...
Mentally we soared, spiritually we flowered... and some of us actually came to
"get" what life's purpose is all about. We felt what it was like to be on
target, we noticed how lousy it felt to be off it. We reveled in the discoveries...and
this was good.
But what is good in times of leisurely query is not always good in times of crisis.
Occasionally someone needs to flat-out KNOW their purpose and take action accordingly.
Someone needs to heal the sick, tend to the elderly, build buildings and stop fires.
Someone needs to know what their life is about and take steps to manifest it. Someone
needs to become the leader.
"Great," you may say, "for those people who know what their life is
about." And great too, for those of you who admire those who know-- because you are
one step closer to knowing your own life's purpose.
If you are good at "the quest," then you might want to query yourself
about those admired individuals who DO know their purpose: 1) what specifically is it they
are doing that is so appealing? 2) what kind of qualities has this person developed?
3) if this person's mission/purpose were tweaked for the better, what would it be
then?
Regarding question number 3: would THAT be a worthy enough purpose for you to go with?
Or do we still need a thunderbolt to seal your fate?
If you need something other than an internet article to promote your mission, then here
is the question you need to answer honestly for yourself: what has to happen in order for
you to KNOW what your purpose is?
Determining your life's purpose is your finest creative act. And it IS important. So,
ask what you need, and make your mission matter.
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
November 11, 2000 Procrastination Meets Meaningful
Down Time
Have you ever noticed that there are some times in life when you love to take action
and can't wait to jump into things, while other times you have dragged, delayed and
procrastinated the simplest items on your to do list?
Would you like to know how to accentuate the former and how to supercharge the
latter? If you answered yes, then be prepared for your assessment of these natural cycles
of life to be completely turned around.
See, in order for you to maximize your productivity ALL the time, you must recognize
something that is not often understood in modern cultures: that the source of your
productivity is taking place on your quieter days. That is, what you are receiving
mentally, emotionally and spiritually those days when you don't so much want to "do
anything" is the key to your energy and motivation all the other, more obviously
productive days.
I'll say it again even more simply. What you allow yourself to receive during your
"unproductive" time determines the level at which you will operate when you do
take action.
So how does one apply this to real life? After all, most of us need to get things done
on a regular basis. Quite right. And here is the specific application. On those seeming
"low motivation" days ask yourself these three questions, and allow yourself to
peruse over the answers:
1. How is what I've been doing related to the big picture of my life?
2. What is it that I need to know about myself in order to stay in harmony with my
personal "big picture"?
3. After I've recharged my personal energy, what 3 items must I target to stay on track
most effectively?
Finally, you must be willing to allow yourself the luxury of down time, even if you
have a mountain of projects to complete. The reason you must do this, is because your
body, emotions, spirit and soul have mandated a reassessment, even if your brain screams
out in anxiety. This does not mean not to do anything, but it does means not to do
anything that is not absolutely necessary.
And if you can in fact, completely relax into your natural cycle of down time, then you
have an amazing opportunity to take your goal and insights to the next level. Just by
daydreaming what it is that would really juice you this day, and who you need to become to
live that way...
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
GLOBAL
QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
What does the US need to re-evaluate during its current phase of "down time"?
(election recount)
November 19, 2000 Train of Emotion
Imagine this: you have a goal, the perfect strategy, resources, and helpful people
around you to attain it--you even have luck! But what you DON'T have is a good
feeling about achieving it. Are you likely to achieve your goal? Or will you, more
likely, sabotage it?
Or imagine this: you have a goal, no strategy, no resources, no one around that can
really help you right now-- and you look at your life and realize that you haven't ever
been lucky. But you DO have absolute determination, and faith, and you feel really good
about achieving your goal. Are you likely to achieve it? We know that people with
nothing but faith achieve great things everyday. The answer is most definitely yes.
Emotion is not only absolutely crucial in obtaining our results, emotion is THE primary
factor in whether or not we get what we want, and how fast we get it.
Think of your emotions like trains. You are at the station of Now, and you want to get
some goal: There. You can choose any number of emotions to ride to your destination, from
Self-doubt to complete Certainty, from Disappointment to Gratitude. No matter what train
you board, you will go somewhere. And you must choose which train you'll board at every
single station between Now and There.
The only question is: Where do you want to get to? And what is going to make your
trip and arrival a pleasurable one for you?
My challenge to each of you is to choose the emotional train that will speed you
comfortably to your desired destination. Choose based on what YOU REALLY WANT, even if
what you really want is to wonder if you are on the right train (though I can't say your
arrival There will be well received if you do).
Choose your emotional transportation, even if you don't think that you can (and check
to make sure you are not riding Doubt or Skepticism, with conductors that try to lock you
into sleeper cars). Perseverance makes for an exciting ride with assured arrival.
Trust, Faith, and Certainty all make for a quick and comfortable trip. Awareness
gives you the best view, and Gratitude assures your most welcome arrival.
Ride on!
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
GLOBAL
QUESTION OF THE WEEK:
What emotions do leaders attempt to stir in their followers to a) control them b)
rouse them to revolt c) tax them or d) empower individuals?
December 4, 2000 Media Lead
I'm reminded of a quote from a cartoonist "most people believe the world is a
confusing place that ultimately leads them to a buying opportunity." I laughed so
hard when I read this, I laughed 'til I cried.
I cried because it was not so long ago that I lived my life with that kind of
confusion, when I believed that "something else" was going to make it all
better. Perhaps a new car, or a relationship, a hairdo or a kitchen gizmo. In those days I
would see celebrities strut their stuff, and believe that they were the only ones with
stuff to strut. I used to believe, as I ladled the Ben & Jerry's into my mouth, that
someday my way would come find me. That I would have a revelation, an understanding. I was
certain that this would only come after I had attained all of the new goodies I desired.
So I set about getting them, as many a good citizen had done before me.
Not to say that this is not a valid path to choose to live one's life. It's just that
it is so overtread. Even amidst the hundreds of thousand of advertiser's products, even
with the thousands of ways TV and magazines tell us we can be "different"; the
bottom line is, we are not different. We are a part of a greater society, and we will
remain subservient to all it's ideals as long as we are looking outside ourselves for some
kind of lead. Psychologically, the media has seized the lead for many, many individuals,
and promoted the 'ideal' of purchasing happiness.
The question is, do you want to follow?
I am writing this because I, like you, have recognized that a different way is called
for. Your way is called for. What this means is that something you've desired, but did not
feel "fit" within the confines of the familiar, is something you need to focus
on. Whether you want to live your life as a saint, or dig ditches; whether you want to
speak freely your heart, or stop speaking altogether-- if the desire comes from within you
(not some advertisement), then it is one to follow. The world needs people like you to act
on new ideals, ideals that can inspire. Ideals that elevate the masses that live
passively. The world needs you to take the lead...
How can we know if an inner lead is a true one?
Simple, ask yourself "if I were to follow through on that prompting, who would I
become in the process?"
If the answer is a simple one like "Me," then you know you've got it.
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
BE IN LOVE
(updates and new ideas December 4, 2000)
Every time I go to write another Idea
of the Week, I intend to write something that will be of value to you. I just
realized, however, that not everything of value is necessarily of interest!
So, in keeping with the theme of 'advertising' that runs throughout this week's idea, I
thought I'd throw in a little "teaser" to get you to read through.
Because, there are few things more compelling to a human being than being
in love. Am I right?!
So with that in mind (and yes, in your body too), what does it take to experience this
most sumptuous of human emotions? Does it take another person doing a particular
behavior.. or not? Does it require a person at all?
If you are answering this question with certainty, then I want you to look again at the
past few moments. As you recalled what it felt like to be in love, weren't you
nearly as good as there?
Isn't the personal circumstance of that feeling more a method of celebrating love than
an instigator of it?
Think about it. And make sure while you do so, that you remember exactly
how it feels to be in love.. how the world looks, what you say to yourself when you
are IN LOVE and who you want to talk to...
Thanks for dropping by1
Love,
 
December 13, 2000 Focus
Ever notice how some people can relentlessly pursue their goals, while others languish
in minutiae?
Ever notice that the first group invariably achieves what they set after, while the
later group often falls victim to "might have been's"?
We all think that there is something special about those people who pursue singular
goals against all odds...and there is: their ability to focus. People who see their goals
plainly and regularly tend to achieve them, and enjoy the process just as much.
But what we may not have known is that focus is not a trait, it's an art. And like all
arts, it can be appreciated, used, or redefined by anyone.
To follow are a few of the finer points of focus. Those things that will sharpen your
ability to see your life with eyes of clarity, and to create a masterpiece that laser-like
vision can give you.
1) focus relies heavily on all your senses. That is, your willingness to envision,
hear, feel, taste and smell the future you're after.
2) focus remains steady on what pleases you. Like a gorgeous woman or a
strapping man, you can easily hold focus on those things that appeal to you. Conversely,
you cannot easily stay focused on "should" goals, or visions born of someone
else (unless the also tap your particular desires as well).
3) focus requires action. Your focus will intensify as you take even minor action
because it gives you more data to feed your senses (see #1). As you move in the direction
of your vision, you see more details of your goal, and have more to look upon tomorrow.
4) Focus matters. Because without it, your life becomes a mishmash of
distractibility's, other people's agendas, and muddy colors. If you think you're confused,
it's because you've been looking at life without your masterpiece glasses on for far too
long...
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
January 1, 2001 A Revolution
in Resolutions
Have you noticed the overwhelming abundance of simplicity books, videos, lifestyle
choices that are out there right now? Do you wish that your life could somehow--
this year-- be simpler, more meaningful, more serene? How do your resolutions
reflect this? How could they bring you naturally into a simpler mode of enjoying life?
I want to pose to you an idea that is very un-coach-like. It is to toss out each and
every one of your resolutions right now. Oh, actually, let's reel them back in for just
one moment of examination before wishing them for someone else who would like a 96% chance
of failing this year.
When you look at those things/accomplishments/challenges that you viewed as important
for 2001, what is the emotional theme behind them? If, for example, you resolved to quit
smoking, start a home-based business and climb Mount Everest; what emotional results did
you expect to be your reward for achieving these things? Maybe feeling healthy, or
innovative, or courageous. Perhaps satisfied, loved or important....
Examine your resolutions now, and determine which emotional results are your true
desire. Write them down, and take a close look at the handful of emotional qualities that
you crave. THESE EMOTIONAL STATES are your simplified, streamlined, 2001 resolution
revolution. These feelings are what you really want, and I want you to know, that you can
attain them right now without grand gestures or high mountains.
Take our hypothetical friend above. What if "feeling healthy" is what he
really wants, and he thinks "quitting smoking" will get him there. What if he
were instead to ask himself what can make him feel healthy right now? Maybe a deep breath,
or eating a salad, a walk in the park, or a roll in the grass. Might he be more likely to
let smoking "fall away" if he began to breathe, walk in parks, and eat salad?*
At least he'd be feeling good--which is what he wanted anyway....
Don't be another hypothetical statistic. Set your sites on what you will immediately
succeed in. Your emotional goals can be yours, with revolutionary simplicity....
I'm rooting for you!
* The reason most resolutions like "quit smoking
to feel healthy" fail, is because the immediate result of quitting is withdrawal
symptoms (i.e. NOT feeling healthy). A scrambled signal goes to the brain, inner conflict
is ignited and the person forgets why it was so important to
them...
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
Become a Beauty-Maker
January 8, 2001
Have you ever wondered why it is that you can describe something exactly the same way
to two different people, and walk away from one feeling worse about yourself, and the
other feeling nearly transcendent?
Well, this is because some of us have developed the quality of Beauty-Making more than
others. That is the ability to take life's garbage and rework it into a masterpiece.
Everyone has this capability, and each of us DOES use it sometimes. We have to,
otherwise we'd just get paralyzed by every unpleasant circumstance. In order to function
as human beings, we must use our facility to rework meanings of things, to cast new light
on mishaps or misapprehensions for ourselves and others. In order to function
extraordinarily as human beings, we need to get very good at this.
For my friend Jazz, this means chocking up her decision yesterday to stay home and read
romance novels as a "win." Yes, she spent the whole day inside, taking a
brain-breath when she "should have" been out on errands, paying bills and so
forth. Feeling a little guilty in retrospect, she told some people who shook their
proverbial fingers at her: "Yes, you SHOULD have done those things."
Fortunately, then she called me.
Knowing Jazz, I could tell that choosing a pure luxury activity was a difficult choice
for her. Also, considering her challenging schedule, this was probably an absolute
necessity. I commended her on having the self-knowledge and strength to make the unpopular
(yet, ultimately more rewarding) decision.
Hear the difference? She left one conversation feeling tired and guilty, whereas she
left the call with me feeling a renewed sense of vigor. Just what she really
needs to flourish in her busy life.
I'm not here to convince you that making people right (actually, aim for making people
RADIANT!) is better somehow than compounding their "wrongs." What I am here to
point out is that if you decide to make this a priority in your life, you will experience
the following benefits:
1) you will become far more creative, because you will be exercising your
meaning-making muscle more often. (Let's face it, making people wrong is boorringg, and
its been done to death.)
2) more people will want to be around you more often: couldn't this benefit your
business, family life, relationships and more? Oh yes, and they'll be a bunch of happier
people too (if you get good at it, that is!)
3) you will like YOU a whole lot more. Because you will be adding to the beauty, the
radiance, the innocence, the light in this world, not shining a measly little flashlight
on some pile of garbage.
So, take out your artist's hat, sound that creative chord, stand for the rightness and
radiance that you can make in life, and thank goodness for the benefits!
Because I feel so strongly about the power of this fundamental skill--- and I believe
in rewarding excellence-- I have a challenge for you. Read the following situation, and
formulate a 10 word or less response that will add beauty to Sally's life: Sally just
experienced a freak accident at her favorite health club. Something broke and fell on her,
causing a minor injury. No one offered her help, so she got herself to the doctor, and
received good care there. Sally has been feeling upset, and has come to you for your
wisdom....
(please email your 10-word response. The most illuminating will win two months of free
coaching. Good luck!)
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
Top Ten Reasons
to Write Down Your Life Vision Today
January 15, 2001
You've probably heard over and over why defining your vision is a good thing to do.
Well, its not just a good thing to do, it's a crucial thing to do, and here's why...
1. It's the only way to know when you get there.
2. Once you write it, you've taken your vision from zero dimensions to two dimensions
instantly... and two is much closer to three than zero.
3. No one else will do it while you are alive enough to enjoy it.
Okay, you could be one of those rare individuals that people write on and on about, in one
unflattering, inaccurate unauthorized biography after another...
4. Have you got something better to do?
5. If you do have something better to do, write it down: that's your vision!
6. If you don't define your vision, someone else will try to make you a bit player in
theirs....and you won't get an Emmy for it either. Hey, what are you doing watching so
much TV?!
7. If life is a journey, wouldn't you at least like to have your eyes looking forward
(instead of looking up yours behind)?
8. You can't get There from Here without knowing where is There
9. You can't "get" Here without knowing Here is There too.
10. If you don't see a vision, then for goodness sake, record your Life's Sound, or
Dance down your Life's Dance. Anything that wakes you up from the "I don't know"
trance!
oh goodness....
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be
duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes
only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com
www.cornerstonecoaching.com or
call toll free 1-877-532-0403. |