| September 6, 2000 What's Better Than That?! Several weeks ago I moved into a new place. I had been living with family and keeping my furniture in storage in the interim. In the spirit of simplicity however, I had slowly cleared out my storage space. "I'll get something better when I move," I thought. By the actual time of the move I had left myself with only a box of mismatched silverware, some art and a bed. So I needed everything all over again. I put out the word, and a flood of support and household goodies came my way. My entire home was furnished for under $700, and was 90% completed in a week. It sports much of the top of the line stuff, any many brands and articles that I dreamed of owning.... This is because of generosity of my friends, and I know too, because of my belief that something better would come along. Something better coming along is most clearly illustrated in the couch saga that has gone on around me. All of a sudden, the one piece of furniture that I do not have, is popping up everywhere. I've been offered loveseats, sofas, sleepers, and brand new Italian leather couches. I've been given opportunities to take everything from the rattiest to the most exquisite seating. So, why am I still sofa-less? Because I've realized in this flurry of activity that I can be selective, and in fact, I am now refining my tastes. This in turn, seems to be driving up the quality of what is showing up. All this is occurring while the price (if any) goes way way down. Interesting, no? This principal of 'something better coming along' is kind of like the market, kind of like business, kind of like life. Selectivity drives up quality, and patience ruffles up abundance. Truth is we are always offered a multitude of what we want. The only question is, have we refined our tastes enough to only select what will really make us happy? If I had taken the first couch that came along, I would have paid the most for the least value. Happiness probably would not have ensued. And why am I getting a sofa anyway? Ultimately, to be happier. So where in your life have you had blinders on to the bounty before you? Maybe in your relationships, your living environment, your opportunities. If you are not enjoying what you are having in any of these areas, maybe you need to sit back and say "no" for a while as you contemplate exactly what you do want. It's like passing on the low-value version until you see that the quality goes through the roof. An antique sofa, good as new and light in color, low back, smaller scale, gorgeous lines. Comfortable for a good read or midday nap. Guest can't wait to lounge all over it-- watching movies on it is sublime. A beauty: it's delivered, and it's free. This is where my head is at now, at least as far as the sofa is concerned. As for relationships and career, that's another sit-back-until-the-best-comes-along kind of story. Well worth the wait.... I'll post my results next week. What do you want to wait for?
Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Lifecoach. All rights reserved. May be electronically transmitted with copyright information intact for non-commercial purposes only. Contact: www.cornerstonecoaching.com GQW: Who in history has accepted nothing but the best? What could you learn from them?
August 23, 2000 On Perspective: Accelerate Your Arrival or Just Scrape By Have you ever noticed that when you look at the ground from an airplane it appears as if you are moving very slowly, when in actuality you are moving very, very fast? Yesterday as I was kayaking at dusk, I noticed this same phenomena in another dimension. The further I was from the shore, the slower I appeared to be moving. I had been keeping toward the middle of the channel, on a straight line to my destination... but it sure didn't feel that way. I kept seeing the same things on the shoreline-- and it didn't appear that I'd ever overtake them. My sense of time & speed became distorted, because of where I chose to row. Even amidst my own uncertainty about what was happening, I did get to my destination-- in record time, no less. I wonder how much of our personal progress is like this too. How might we benefit from a little distance and a broader perspective? Many of us have been taught that 'paddling around' brings progress; that the feeling of movement makes goals come true. How many of us have "scraped the shore" to feel like we were getting somewhere? You know; moving, shaking, and an appointment book full of import. We may feel like lots is happening, but in reality, the sensation of movement does not mean we are reaching goals any faster. In fact, it may mean we are taking the long way round! If you want to accelerate your progress, you need to get distance and take a direct route. Far from the metaphoric shoreline of your life, you can see both your starting point and destination, the sea and the sky, where you've come from and where you are going. You can enjoy paddling for it's own sake as you take in a wider slice of your life. This is where you want to be at least once in a while-- because this is what takes you home with God's speed. Row, row, row your boat.... Global Question of the Week: Imagine that you see the entire timeline of your nation: where has it come from, and where could you direct it to go? Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Lifecoach. All rights reserved. May be electronically transmitted with copyright information intact for non-commercial purposes only. Contact: www.cornerstonecoaching.com
August 30, 2000 Ally Yourself with Time I believe it was the Greeks who paid homage to Kronos, the god of time. Many of us today no longer pay homage, we simply take time for granted, mistaking it for a character-less, underlying 'given'. The truth is that time is not, nor will ever be an absolute. Einstein's relativity theory proves this, and scientists know they must refer to time in relation to something --most often as the "time/space continuum" Even if we are not scientists, we too know time in relation to things. We experience that "time flies when we are having fun", that sometimes we "turn back the clock." That we can live in the future, or the past. That 'now' is elusive to some, and all there is to others. We know that those things we anticipate can come slower, and that sometimes time slips out of our hands. We feel time in different ways, and it even passes differently according to how fast we are going. Time appreciates our moods and changes accordingly. We use time too, as a tool to influence other's emotions: we create unnecessary waits for some things, and rush through others. We know its advantages, and harness it to make things happen the way we want them. We utilize time, and experience it too: we treat is as (at least) an equal partner. We live in time, understanding our lives as a finite object, demarcated by a variable construct that we ourselves define. We know of time as an ally of death, an enhancer of life, a maker of cycles. We know time's value. And we value it mightily. Because time is known in relation to other things (the way the planets move, the way we feel, our speed and space), how beneficial might it be to befriend it? Might we be enriched by time's circle of influence? Time effects what we do, how we do it, and the level of aliveness we feel. It is a key player in all our achievement. It is kind of like a wise mentor-- well connected and powerful in our world. Why not be an excellent protege and learn what it has been teaching us? So this week: get to know the characteristics of time. Start by asking yourself if time were a person, what would he/she look like? talk like? act like? Then, write a letter to your newly discovered old friend... and ask those question you've always wanted to know. Time will tell... __________________________________________________________ Global Question of the Week: How do world leaders use time differently than you do? What would your life be like if you adopted those strategies? Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Lifecoach. All rights reserved. May be electronically transmitted with copyright information intact for non-commercial purposes only. Contact: www.cornerstonecoaching.com
Are you ready to have that big break? See your name in lights? Or maybe simply be seen in your milieu as the best and the brightest? Follow these proven instructions and become recognized as the star that you are! 1. Be fully yourself. No matter how 'good' or 'bad' you think you may be. Relish the day when the National Enquirer makes that pronouncement, and you are laughing on the beach in Tahiti. 2. Get seen, get heard. As many places as possible, as frequently as you can. When somebody realizes that special quality they are looking for, we want your face right in front of them! 3. Enjoy persistence. Because it's a given. How attractive might you be if you were to joyfully go for it over and over again?! 4. Develop a thick -- yet removable -- skin. Because your public will adore you and abhor you based on the quality of their lives, not yours. Keep your creative heart accessible while making mental boundaries about what you will not let effect you. 5. Emulate the greatest (to a point). Meaning, imitate the strategies your heroes have utilized, while keeping your identity firmly rooted in Number One! 6. Entertain yourself. And keep finding more new ways to do so. Hey, if you don't find yourself interesting, who else will? 7. Build a community... of your raving fans. How to do this? Easy, add a lot of value to others in whatever way comes natural to you... 8. Let rejection fuel you. 9. Let acclaim humble you. 10. Give the people what they want.
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September 13, 2000 Is Your Life by Design or by Default? A colleague today brought this to my attention: he said we all either create our lives by design or live them by default. I venture a hearty "Yes" to this, and add that creating a life by design is not just desirable, but absolutely necessary! Without designing our lives, we fall prey to the designs of others-- because in this world -- having vision always wins. Others are full of agendas to get our time, our health, our money, our energy. Advertisers masterfully create an illusion of lack, in order to fill it with their product. Family and friends have designs on our emotions and behaviors. All kinds of people have designs on our money. Educators and spiritual folks have designs on our beliefs. Even those who care the most about us have designs for our happiness (often, it must also include theirs). There is nothing wrong or sinister about this: It simply is. Nothing to change, except our approach. We can bemoan the not-so-nice agendas of some, or we can do one better by knowing our own designs, and energizing them daily. How do we do this? For starters; we pay attention to what makes us feel good. We act from integrity. We notice our drives, our fancies, and our whims. We decide to value that which we enjoy; and we act, and envision, and refine. We definitely choose to set goals, even if we are not sure if they are the perfect ones. We take steps toward their realization. We wait for no one's approval to leap. What is really the purpose of our individual lives? Whatever purpose we succeed in putting into them*. We design our life when we choose our purpose and live it largely. So go ahead, choose a purpose, and design yourself a mighty life. * paraphrase on purpose comes from A. J. Ayer GQW: Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Lifecoach. All rights reserved. May be electronically transmitted with copyright information intact for non-commercial purposes only. Contact: www.cornerstonecoaching.com
September 20, 2000 How to Make a Perfect Decision I helped a friend last weekend to coordinate her wedding reception. A bounty of food for over a hundred guests, two bands, and lots of space to sprawl details all over. When I looked back at how it all happened, I realized that we had forgotten a few important things. I remembered that I had missed a few marks, and that all the details were not executed perfectly according to plan. Yet we were all serene-- no-- downright happy about the nature of that day. The smiles on the faces of the guests and the happiness of the bride and groom, let us all know that her wedding day was not perfect, but it was perfectly wonderful. So this is the kind of decision I want you to make, a perfectly wonderful one. To follow are three guidelines to make this kind of decision. Apply these principals to experience enjoyment while achieving your ultimate outcome. 1. Put yourself in a great state of mind. As like attracts like, those decisions you make while feeling great will bring results with the same quality. 2. Know your outcome. Is it a feeling you are ultimately looking for, or something more measurable? Are you determined to execute a particular plan, or flexible enough to get your result in another way? 3. Don't mistake the plan for the goal: look continually at the Big Picture. The Big Picture resides in your imagination, and honoring it with a decision to act will naturally attract opportunity. A plan is what you think you must do to achieve the Big Picture. Remember, your plan is created amidst current circumstances (which you are just about to change!). Be willing to re-evaluate your plan, while you consistently honor your goal. Whether you are wondering what your breakfast will be, or what to do with the rest of your life, these principals will support you in making decisions with electrified effectiveness. Step into the power you have been given to make yours a perfectly wonderful life. Decide what you will do with what has just been given you.. Go ahead... it's your chance to try it! Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Lifecoach. All rights reserved. May be electronically transmitted with copyright information intact for non-commercial purposes only. Contact: www.cornerstonecoaching.com
September 27, 2000 Become a Master Communicator A great motivational speaker once said: "the quality of your life depends upon the quality of your communication." And whether we are thinking in terms of the internet, or our ability to listen; we know that our communication is our key to a better life. But how do we improve our communication? Can we do it globally? What is at the core of extraordinary communication? Somehow, a world-phone, or internet apparatus does not feel like the answer. Nor does a learned speaking style or special listening technique. We feel like there must be some fundamental core we can work on that will make our lives extraordinary across the board.... An fortunately, there is. As we communicate better with ourselves, we automatically enrich our ability to communicate with others, and our quality of life skyrockets. We can communicate better with ourselves in several ways. And these ways will look familiar, because improved self-communication is at the heart of all coaching, all personal development programs, all self-help books, all motivational seminars, and all spiritual healing. These tools may be cloaked in various guises, promising a variety of specific solutions. The essence of them all is the same. Master this essence, and attain an extraordinary quality of life. Self-Communication Meta-Tools to Improve Your Quality of Life:
Have you discovered yet what makes these all work so profoundly? If you haven't, why not try placing your thoughts to paper, or take a moment to quietly listen for a suitable answer? Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Life Coach. All rights reserved. May be duplicated freely for not-for-profit use with contact information intact. Visit on the web at www.cornerstonecoaching.com, or email em@cornerstonecoaching.com.
October 13, 2000 Hypnosis Made Easy
I am not going to spend one moment proving to you the power of hypnosis. Instead, I will leave you with a quote to think about before we launch into a simple method for washing your own brain.
Hypnosis is a part of your daily life, whether you are aware of it or not. And the vast majority of it is self-imposed. Anytime you use a internal "if... then" type of statement, you are hypnotizing yourself (such as "if I understand this, then I will feel better"). Anytime you evoke a memory with sensory details, you are hypnotizing yourself (as in "I can remember falling in love, how the sun was warm, the music that was playing, how I felt...") Anytime you state the obvious to yourself, then draw a conclusion, you are hypnotizing yourself (as in "I am young, I am healthy, I feel lonely, something must be..."). Isn't it the very nature of the brain to think this way? Yes, yes, and yes. Our brain is a powerful tool in creating the fabric of our lives. And we can control what we experience as long as we are willing to draw (think artist) our desired conclusions, not just the habitual ones. The brain works like this: It hears a statement, then it checks in the world to find confirmation, and then says to itself, "Yes." The brain hears another statement, It checks with the sense organs, gets confirmation, and says "Yes". It hears a third statement, checks externally and again says "Yes". Statement four comes, and the pattern of response creates an automatic "Yes." Hypnosis has occurred. And a created statement has just been accepted by your brain as actual fact. Your brain in it's infinite capacity to say "yes," is just looking for some juicy material-- creative statements made by you, to accept as true. Think of statement four as your finest creative challenge, an opportunity to train your brain into believing what you want it to believe. What might your life be like if you knew you could do anything and succeed? So as you stare at a computer screen, and read about hypnosis, you may wonder if you understand. You approach the end of the article, ask yourself a new question or two, and come to the conclusion that you will use it in your own life, and judge by your own results. Take charge of the use of your brain. You can do it masterfully! Copyright 2000 by Elizabeth Mullen, Life Coach. All rights reserved. May be duplicated freely for not-for-profit use with contact information intact. Visit on the web at www.cornerstonecoaching.com, or email em@cornerstonecoaching.com.
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