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Risk January 22, 2001
I hope this Idea of the Week finds you contemplating a risky decision, for this is the stuff that an extraordinary life is made from.
We may have slowly been acculturated to believe that risk is a frightening thing. After all, it connotes the possibility of danger. Expressions like "fool to risk it all," and "risky business" pepper our speech. Some folks criticize those who DO risk, and lose, as if the alternate choice to remain in a "secure state" were somehow more noble.
In our consumer society, we may even be told that the only noble risk is a purchasing one. Stretching to buy something for the promise of an improved quality of life is so prevalent, that an entire multi-billion dollar industry of credit cards has built up around the seemingly "secure" person.
The truth is that none of us can maintain a steady state forever-- we must make decisions to move forward. Even if we were to try to "maintain," the normal changes of life will at some time bring challenges for us to face (whether natural disasters, death of loved ones, downsizing, delays or addictions...). Each of these challenges has within it the possibility for a true renewal, and greater fulfillment if we meet it head on.
Let's face it, a life spent trying "to maintain" takes an enormous amount of energy-- there are infinite detractors (not to mention consumer temptations) that would try to pull you off course. A life spent taking intelligent risks takes much less energy, and is often surprisingly supported by the external world. For example: think about the last time you had a clear feeling that it was time to move on from your job. Did you act on it? If you did, you are most likely in a profession that suits you much better and makes you more excited, more often. Do you remember those early days, when you had decided to leave, but didn't have anything else lined up? Perhaps some people in your life came through with connections....
What I want for you today is to begin to look for those risks you can take prior to the forced decisions of painful challenges. That is, spotting opportunities and acting toward their behalf. There are many reasons to do this, but most importantly, it is so that YOU are in the driver's seat of life, moving forward consciously toward greater happiness and deeper satisfaction. You will find that when you get good at making proactive decisions, you experience fewer forced challenges as well (or else your perspective shifts so that they feel much easier to deal with).
If you cannot relate to the example listed above, then I have a simple challenge for you. It is to consciously take a risk today. An intelligent risk. Find an area of your life where you've been 'maintaining' anything less than complete fulfillment, and make a decision to change it, right now. Be sure to notice your feeling of aliveness, your emotional state, and most definitely-- your results! Pay attention at what comes your way when you decide to take intelligent risk out of your scabbard and wield it with majesty.
For if there were anyone we could trust to make fine and noble decisions, it would be one such as you.
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
New Approaches, New Results January 29, 2001
You have probably heard at one time or another "if you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten," or "insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result." But how many of us utilize this principal effectively?
Well, starting today, you can.
Many of us have grown so used to the prevailing belief that change can be frightening, that we often find ourselves resisting making changes until 1) circumstances dictate that we must make a change or, 2) we are feeling "strong enough" to make a positive change on our own. Ultimately this strategy does work, but it also does its work slowly.
What if making changes were not only easy, but addictive? What if you were so curious as to see new types of results in your life, that taking new directions was something you couldn't wait to do, and so did regularly? What might your life be like if you made breaking routines your routine?
The greatest successes in our time are people who remained persistent in their desire for an outcome, yet flexible in their approach. Thomas Edison it was said, did over 10,000 experiments before successfully harnessing electricity. The Wright Brothers crashed and burned many dozens of demo's on their way to taking flight. What audacious outcome have you wanted as badly as these men wanted these?
Well, whatever it is, you CAN have it. You also must realize that persistence, steadfastness, and intensity of focus-- while perfect for your outcome--are not so useful in your approach to attaining it. Here natural qualities like curiosity, flexibility, open-mindedness and inspiration are key. Delight in new things, and the desire to learn will also move you forward.
What I want for you today is the curiosity you already have to peak, and for new questions to erupt through your decisions. "Is what I am doing working?" and "if not, what will?" I also want for you to find child-like wonder as you witness your new results, alter your course as many times as it takes to get what you really want once and for all.
Enjoy your ride...
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
Discernment: An Offer You Can't Refuse February 5, 2001
Every day we are made hundreds of offers: 'here is a bagel for breakfast;' 'buy this car;' 'I will pick you up later;' etc. Even this article is an offer of such: 'use this tool.' In fact, our entire lives are spent fielding the offerings of life-- they inundate us in our relationships, our interactions with our environment, and the media.
The interesting thing about this is our natural tendency to say "yes" to things, regardless if they serve us. Advertisers have known this for ages. If anyone gets lulled into a pattern of saying "yes...yes...yes" they will continue to do so until the pattern is consciously broken. We have been susceptible to other people's agendas because we have experienced saying the automatic "yes" to things as mundane as our morning alarm clock and breakfast cereal. The pattern of affirming what comes our way can be established daily.
So what can you do when harmful offers are snuck in with the good stuff? What might your life be like if you said "no" automatically to those that did not serve your highest purpose, and a bolder "yes" to those things from good sources? What if you could spot agendas, manipulations, and genuine gifts-- and always responded accordingly?
Well, fortunately you can, simply by developing discernment. And the key to developing discernment comes from regularly asking yourself a few simple questions:
1. Who offers this? (determine source)
2. Will this give me what I ultimately want? (determine outcome)
3. Do I choose it? (decision)
You can also add in the question "why are they making this offer?" which will give you insight as to agenda. The caveat in this however, is in getting stuck in analysis. If a little analysis helps you to understand another, great! If it keeps you from making a decision, time to move on!
Look around yourself now. Notice a few of the things that are there and practice asking yourself the above questions. This key to a happier, more fulfilling life is easy and it is yours for the taking!
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
February 12, 2001 Learn to Learn
What do you most need to learn right now? Do you even know what that is?
Maybe we need to learn patience, or understanding, or better communication, or good humor. Maybe we need to learn how to be a better parent, or friend, or provider, or partner. Perhaps we need wisdom in the areas of our finances, or our relationships, or our community, or our business. Maybe we even need to learn how to learn...
The funniest thing about wisdom is that it cannot come into an area of our life that we do not have the desire to improve. The very attitude of "I'm doing fine in my business/relationship/etc.," precludes the light of wisdom shining well into it. In fact, many of the wisest teachers we know (those folks we honor with big book contracts, speaking engagements and ministries), are some of the most curious students of their respective subjects.
So where do you want true wisdom? And what tools can you develop to get to it faster?
One of the greatest tools anyone can wield is the ability to learn. This ability is so embedded in us, that even if we actively refuse to learn, our nervous system will do it for us: think of your reflex to pull your hand away from a hot fire. We instinctively train ourselves to move away from pain and toward pleasure as a means of survival.
But how can we build on this to make ourselves wise and effective life-long learners? For starters we can realize that while we innately know enough to navigate human fundamentals like survival, that we do not yet know enough to profoundly effect the whole of humankind. Once we realize this deficiency, we can set about doing something to transform it, namely transforming our own lives.
There are many individuals who have gained wisdom in any area of inquiry you may want to master. People have walked this earth who have raised and fallen nations, who have made and re-created peace, who have raised the standard of what was possible for one person to do. People have made unique and powerful paths in this world, and can show you the ways to do that too.
These are your teachers. Notice their eagerness to learn, and develop that fundamental desire on your own quest for excellence...
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
The Technician vs. the Visionary February 19, 2001
There are two philosophies in achieving results, both of which work. The first is to set very attainable goals, and to tackle them one by one. The other is to set huge, audacious goals, and move toward them incrementally, and also with a good dose of serendipity. The first is the arena of the technician and the second the arena of the visionary.
In business, we know both of these roles are necessary to achieve important results. A visionary (read CEO) without the technician is merely a dreamer and the technician (read Worker) without the big picture is a drone.
Think of NASA and their goal of several decades ago: to put a man on the moon and to bring him back alive. This was a huge, audacious, and most compelling vision of "impossibility." The person who set that goal, and who set the staff on fire deserves kudos for sure, but would the moon dust ever be foot printed if the fueling department hadn't achieved a way to power the rocket? Or if the nutritionist hadn't created a way to feed our moon walkers?
And what about us in our personal lives? How do we get results without the benefit of a team of visionaries and technicians to take us to the moon? What if we are more like the technician, able to tackle to do lists masterfully, getting the "little things" done with aplomb? Where is all of our activity going to take us? Or, what if we are more like the visionary, able to see brilliant futures and have faith in impossibilities coming to be? How are we going to take the rubber to the road and make it REAL?
The answer to these questions is now hopefully obvious. We need to be both the Visionary and the Technician if we are to achieve any kind of fulfillment in our personal lives. We need to see the biggest, most compelling exciting vision of what our lives can be, AND we need to set smaller attainable goals along the way.
The mechanism by which (and when) we do this flip-flop in roles works like this: When we are at our best-feeling state (i.e. when doing something we particularly enjoy like exercise, our hobbies, sex, being in nature, etc.) is when we clarify and refine the big picture of our lives. This is the time to see yourself as the greatest hockey player of all time, or the multi-billionaire philanthropist, or best-selling author, the saint, or whatever... Then during your day-to-day life, you set and achieve smaller goals that are related directly to your biggest picture (i.e. hockey drills, earning and saving, researching favorite causes, writing a page a day, etc...)
What do you think you could achieve by following this plan for a dozen years? And wouldn't your daily activities take on even more meaning if you saw them as somehow contributing to your personal biggest dream?
Think about it, then get your head out of the vision and DO SOMETHING finishable in the here and now!
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
Anatomy of a Turnaround February 26, 2001
Is there an area of your life in which you would like to experience a turnaround? Perhaps a difficult relationship, a business, your finances?
The equation of life seems to be that there is but one way that things can go right and hundreds of ways in which they can go wrong. Many of us measure our success against one specific ideal, seeing every variance as a sign of failure or shortcoming. This way of thinking is ripe for situations that need to be turned around, because according to the "one way is the right way" philosophy, everything that isn't speeding us toward success is dragging our asses into failure.
Perhaps there is another way of looking at this: a way that turns this limiting notion around. The idea that there is only one way for things to go wrong, and infinite ways for things to go right. The equation of the turnaround. Another way of stating this principal is that every action we take toward our ideal goal-- even if seemingly gone awry-- is actually moving us toward even greater success.
Take for instance the 3M people, the makers of sticky notes. Their multi-million dollar business is the direct result of someone failing at making a permanent adhesive. Obviously, if they had viewed their "mistake" according to the familiar equation, their progress would have stopped. Fortunately for them, there was a turnaround thinker on the project who recognized that what they got was another HUGE way that things could go right.
This is what you need to do in your personal and professional life. Be a turnaround thinker. Begin with taking action, and evaluating results by looking for what went right with what you've done-- even if it didn't bring your intended result. Often you will find that what you got instead is a seed that will give you even more of what you were ultimately seeking. This will prompt more and different action, which will yield more turnaround opportunities, and so on...
Is this simple? Yes. Is it easy? It is this too... as long as you are willing to let go any notions of what 'must be' in order for you to be satisfied, and keep alert for your ultimate fulfillment instead.
Copyright 2000 By Elizabeth Mullen. All rights reserved. May be duplicated in its entirety with contact information intact for not-for-profit purposes only. Contact: em@cornerstonecoaching.com www.cornerstonecoaching.com or call toll free 1-877-532-0403.
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